I learned a very important lesson in 2013:

I’m getting old.


In 2013:

I turned 30.

I tweaked my knee while walking.  It still hurts six months later.

I found out that I was having a baby.  A few weeks later, I learned that I was having twins.

I fell in love with seltzer water.

And gardening.

I discovered that a small increase in calorie consumption and a small decrease in exercise now leads to significant weight gain.

And four pairs of ripped pants.

I bought a SUV.

I love the idea of falling asleep on the couch at 9pm on a Friday night.

I grew a beard.

Old - 3

My entire body hurts the morning after I play sports.  That even includes a game of HORSE.

My doctor told me I should take aspirin every day.

I get annoyed when I see teenagers texting all the time.

I turn on the radio and don’t know any of the songs.

The only TV shows I watch are on The Food Network and HGTV.

So, yea, in 2013, I learned that I’m turning into an old man.

I also learned that I’m cool with that.

I’m older and slower, but I’m also wiser.  I’ve learned to be thankful instead of feeling entitled to life, health, and success.  I miss my youth, but I’m thankful for the experiences that have brought me to this point, both the good and the bad.  I’ve overcome obstacles this year that crushed me in the past.  I’ve learned to appreciate the present instead of always anticipating the next best thing.  I’ve found my voice and decided to just be who I am, regardless of the world’s expectations.  I’ve learned to stop trying to be perfect and to just laugh at my mistakes and quickly ask for forgiveness. I’ve learned that I need to knock down my pride and share my flaws with those around me who need to hear that they are not alone.  I figured out that instead of planning, scheming, and forcing things to happen, I just need to make the most of every day and every opportunity.  Most importantly, I finally understand that there is nothing more important than faith, friends, and family.  Everything else will leave you unsatisfied and hungry for more.

In 2013, I grew up.

A little.

Old 4

G-G-G-Great-Grandparent Rap

My four grandparents are some of the greatest blessings in my life.  They have all taught me so much and impacted my life in such tremendous ways.

I got to hang out with two of my grandparents in Virginia Beach over the weekend.  As I noted yesterday, I spent most of my time in The 757 eating the amazing cookies, sweet potatoes, and pies my grandmother (a.k.a. Memama) lovingly made.

However, in between caloric throwdowns, my grandparents made a rap video:


These awesome heroes were born in 1933.  80 years later, they made a rap video about their soon-to-be-arriving great-grandchildren, Austin and Madison.  Not only was it incredible, but it was beautiful too.  Even more impressive, there were no practice sessions, no memorized lyrics, and no cue cards hidden behind the camera.  Rather, like me at an Indian food buffet, they just dove in and went for it.

I love this so much.

You can check out other silly rap videos here.  Be warned, none of them are as epic as this G-G-G-Great Grandparent Rap.

Breaking News!

I hope you are having a wonderful holiday season.  I really hope that you’re doing a better job than me at not gaining 10 pounds this week from eating too much junk food.

We had a wonderful week spending time with my wife’s family (we even made a “music” video!) and I’ve been having a blast hanging at my grandparents’ house in Virginia Beach this weekend.  Of course, I’ve spent most of my time down here eating cookies and pies.

In other news, I’m not sure why, but “CNN” decided to do a story about me and my wife.

Breaking News


Christmas Conflict

I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas yesterday.  We had a great time hanging with Amanda’s family:

Christmas Conflict

We laughed.

Christmas Conflict 2

We cried.   Baby gifts are emotional.

Baby Pants

We ate too much.

We got a lot of wonderful presents.  Amanda even got a Twinmobile.

Christmas Conflict 3

We watched home videos.  They made me feel old.  The 1990s were a long time ago.

We ate some more.

Despite all those awesome moments, I always have a tough time with Christmas.  I think about the mistakes I made over the past year, the dumb things I did, and my own selfishness.  Those memories and images are in stark contrast to the story of Jesus.  He was born amid great fanfare and cow poop, but He later selflessly made the ultimate sacrifice so that a severed relationship between God and His second-favorite creation (after Chihuahuas) could be restored.  On Christmas, I repeatedly think that I am unworthy of such a gift and that I’ve screwed up way too many times for such incredible grace.

But then I remember that is exactly why Jesus came.

Awkward White Guy Rap (Vol. XVII) – Mariah Carey

You hear a lot about the night Jesus was born, but what about the next day?  Did Jesus and Mary hang out in the stable with the cows?  Were the three wise men awkward “house” guests and overstay their welcome?  What did Joseph do with all that myrrh?

Although I’m not certain, I think Jesus and his parents made a rap video to celebrate such an incredible moment in history.

Awkward White Guy Rap - Mariah Carey

In keeping with tradition, I did the same.  I apologize to Mariah Carey for disgracing her epic Christmas jam.

Have a Merry Christmas!

Christmas in the Capital

Christmas is pretty cool (other than non-rap Christmas carols).  I like Baby Jesus, weather that gives me an excuse to wear cardigans, and people buying me presents.  However, other than watching “Home Alone,” one of my favorite Christmas traditions is our annual “Christmas in the Capital” dinner.

Christmas in the Capital

Here’s how it usually goes down:

(1)  We ask some good friends or family to go out to dinner at a nice-ish DC restaurant the week before Christmas.

(2)  We eat dinner.

(3)  We laugh a lot.

(4)  I try to get a friend to pay the bill.

(5)  He or she declines.

(6)  I eat way too much.

(7)  I later regret those decisions.

(8)  We walk over to the National Christmas Tree.

(9)  Sometimes the tree is still lit.

(10)  We laugh some more.

(11)  We take pictures in front of the tree.

(12)  We make fun of each other.

That’s how it went down last Thursday.  A group of 15 of us hit up Chef Geoff’s Downtown.  I ate five pieces of bread before we ordered our food.  I’m classy.  After a three-hour dinner full of calories and laughs, we hustled over to the National Christmas Tree.  For the second year in a row, it was closed when we arrived and the lights were turned off.  We asked our friends Barack and Michelle to flip the lights back on, but they didn’t respond to our text messages.  Oh well, we still took this fun picture:

Christmas in the Capital - 2

…and here’s some photos from past “Christmas in the Capital” dinners:











Okay, all those old pictures make me feel depressed for being old.

In more exciting news, the first ever “Awkward White Guy Christmas Rap” is dropping tomorrow.


Name of Thrones

I’ve been writing, thinking, and praying about these two little babies for the past few months:

Name of Thrones

I’m biased, but they are pretty awesome.

Although I’ve made a few trips to baby stores and glanced at the cover of a baby book, this whole thing just got real.  These babies have names now:

Name of Thrones - 2

These names have been our favorites for a few years, but we still wasted $10 on a baby name book to look at other options.  None of them felt right.  We wanted unique, but not weird.  We didn’t want to be super cheesy and have 4 “A” names, but referring to ourselves as The A-Team was still kind of appealing.  I also like the fact that my musical jam for these little rockstars over the past few months has been “Safe and Sound” by Capital Cities.  In case you skipped fourth grade, Austin and Madison are the capital cities of Texas and Wisconsin.  As a native Texan, the name Austin has some significance for me.  I’ve never been to Wisconsin, so now I have a good excuse to head up there and take a picture of Madison (the human) in front of a Madison (the city) sign.  We did like the name Jackson for the dude, but 37 of our friends picked that name before us and we didn’t want to have to fight y’all.  Amanda wouldn’t let me name our girl Britney or Spears.  

Thus, Austin and Madison were born.  Well, not yet, but we did buy them Christmas stockings.  We’re not sure about middle names, but we are sure that this dynamic duo is going to do some big things in this world.

The Christmas Miracle

Christmas is almost here!


Almost Christmas

That means it’s time to spend priceless moments with family, eat way too much food, and pretend to like presents that are actually pretty weird.  For me, it’s also a time to be thankful for the wonderful miracle of Christmas.  It’s a time to celebrate the birth of Jesus and the fact that God took the form of a human (who sometimes wore tuxedo t-shirts) to restore a severed relationship with humanity.  Slightly less important, I was able to overcome a severed relationship with the gym and fit into these Christmas pants:

Bonobos Miracle

(They will be appearing at one of our church’s Christmas services this Sunday.  Hopefully they do not rip on stage.)

I’m also thrilled to announce another Christmas miracle!

I got a new pair of shoes!

The Christmas Miracle

I don’t think I’ve ever loved something so much in my entire life.  (Sorry, Amanda, but I’ve got to keep it real.)  Infinite thanks to my thoughtful, incredible, and talented friend Paul who spotted these fly Sperry kicks at DSW and knew I’d love them.  Although finding something as beautiful as those shoes is a miracle in and of itself, the price Paul paid for those bad boys makes getting those shoes the biggest miracle in DC since the Redskins actually made the playoffs last year:


DSW Receipt

In short, thanks to Jesus, Bonobos, my thighs, DSW, Sperry, and Paul for helping me believe in Christmas.

Anniversary Rap

Oh snap!

(Do people still say that?)

Me and my BFF made an anniversary rap:

Anniversary Rap

Happy 8th Anniversary, Amanda!

Yesterday, I wrote a post about some of the mistakes I made that once crippled my marriage.  It’s never easy to share the dark parts of my past, so I greatly appreciate the kind words and support.

I’m a complicated guy who likes to swerve between serious and silly in a haphazard manner.  Thus, here’s Part 2 of my marriage post: a surprise anniversary rap for Amanda.  It’s awkward.

Thanks so much for watching!  You can check out other dumb “music” videos here.