Baby Daddy x 2 — Vol. 2

Sharks are scary.  Spiders are scary.  Having to bend down in a pair of slim-fit pants after a month of unhealthy eating is scary.

Having twins is scarier.

I have no idea how this whole parenting thing will work. I’m already struggling to fit work, church, friends, family, a dog, blogging, Oreos, “rapping,” sleeping, and exercise into my schedule.  I’m not sure how we’re going to make it with two babies added into the mix.  I’m also clueless about this parenting thing, which my wife pointed out when I suggested that we could take babies Luke and Leia on a backpacking trip to Europe this summer.

Oh, and I’ve never changed a diaper.

In short, I don’t know much about parenting, but I do know this:

1.  I have a little bit of a clothes and shoes addiction.  My desire for our kids to be supa’ fly isn’t helping.  You should buy stock in Nike and Converse because I’m going to make those companies a lot richer over the next few years.

Baby Daddy x2 - Vol. 2

Baby Jordans

Oh, and Adidas too.  THEY MAKE TRACK SUITS FOR BABIES!

Adidas - Track Suit

2.  I sometimes think that it’s crazy to believe in God.  Some mornings I read the Bible and it doesn’t make sense.  I sometimes dream about sleeping in on Sundays instead of waking up early to go to church.  But when I hear the sounds of those babies’ heartbeats, feel them kick my hand, and see their tiny little hearts pumping on a sonogram screen, my faith is unshakeable.

3.  A number of people have sent me a video of two twin babies hugging each other.  Those will NOT be our babies.  First, the music in that video is terrible.  Second, our babies are not doing much hugging.  The dude likes to chill and suck his thumb.  The girl likes to dance around and punch her brother in the head.  Napoleon will protect you in a few months, Baby Luke!

It turns out that Luke loves bling and Leia rocks Chucks.

Sonogram

4.  No, we’re not naming our kids Luke and Leia (although it was briefly discussed).  We’re 90% sure about the names, but can still be swayed with large stacks of cash and/or Oreos.  Britney and Justin are currently our top choices.  Erin and Aaron are close behind.

5.  No, that’s not true either.

Halloween Shirt

6.  Having a baby is really humbling.  I am unworthy of such a blessing.  I’m thankful that God’s grace and blessings don’t work that way.

7.  I’m sick of all the pink and blue stuff.  The people who make baby gear should be a lot more creative and not lazily fall into gender stereotypes.

8.  I love design, colors, and painting.  I’m stoked to craft a ridiculous nursery.  In the world of kiddy v. classy, we’re opting for the latter.  Thus, the Star Wars Legos will be staying in the living room.

9.  Amanda shot down my idea of painting the nursery walls hot pink and/or purple and then decorating them with neon graffiti.  Although that would not have been “classy,” it would have been awesome.

10.  This whole baby thing has been a powerful reminder about the miracle of life.  When we first heard the news, the little babies were the size of poppy seeds (although we thought it was just one poppy seed back then).  Now they are so much bigger and have hearts, faces, brains, fingers, toes, and emotions.  Those same organs will hopefully be rocking out for the next 100 years.  Not only could we see their little hearts beating at our last doctor appointment, but we could see the valves inside their hearts pumping and the blood flowing through their ever-growing bodies.  Like the Backstreet Boys’ “Millenium” album, it was incredible.  Their complex genetic makeup, personalities, and destinies all started with two tiny poppy seeds.  All of it makes me desperately wish I was a scientist.

11.  The weekly “your baby is the size of XYZ fruit/vegetable” update creeps me out.

12.  When I first heard that we were having twins, I was shocked.  Then I laughed.  Then I was terrified.  Now, I can’t imagine it going down any other way.  Unsurprisingly, that’s how life often works.  Yo.

America is the Best. (Duh.)

I’m thankful for a lot of things:

My wife, Lady Gaga, Capital City Church, my dog, Wendy’s Junior Bacon Cheeseburgers, and America.

usaphoto

I’ve been fortunate enough to travel to about 30 countries in my “22” years of life.  We live in a majestic, beautiful, and unique world and the best way to experience life, to better understand humanity, and to appreciate our own blessings is to dive into other cultures, lifestyles, and histories.

However, after a careful and well-researched analysis, I’ve come to an important conclusion:

America is the champ.  Not the measly Intercontinental Champion, but the WWF World Heavyweight Champion.  (If you get that reference, I’m really glad we’re friends.  If you don’t, I’m still glad we’re friends, but you probably think I’m low classYou are correct.)

Some may point to the incredible freedoms we enjoy, our diverse citizenry, or our gorgeous natural landscapes as reasons why America is the best.  All those things are cool, but it’s so much easier than that:

Chuck. Taylors.

chucksphoto

Don’t let the European hispters fool you.  Chucks belong to us.  America didn’t invent shoes, but we sure did perfect them in 1923.  Just like Darius Rucker, Chucks are cool with anything.  Jeans?  Yep.  Shorts?  Like, obviously.  Dress pants?  I like your spunk.

Other than the cool history and affordable prices, the best thing about Chucks is their simplicity.  Life is way too complicated and we spend way too much time stressing over a bunch of stuff that doesn’t really matter.  As long as we get the basics right, whether it is a successful marriage, a healthy work-life balance, or plain solid colors and simple white stitching, we’re good to go.  Plus, it’s pretty sick to wear a shoe that hasn’t changed much in the past 90 years.  When you are doing something right, just keep doing your thang.

‘Murica.

Cursed

Some combinations are awesome:

-chicken and waffles;

Queen and David Bowie;

-Chuck Taylors and suits; and

photochucks

-Me and Britney.

photobrit

Others combinations are lame:

-Joey Lawrence and the 21st Century;

-Christina Aguilera and everything;

-DC tourists and Metro escalators; and

-Me and my friend Brian.

zzzpicstitch

You see, we’re good friends.  We hang out a lot.  We go to the same church.  We’re even working together to launch a new Capital City Church location in Virginia.  One problem: we’re bad luck.  Really bad luck.

Over the past two years, we’ve been to six Nationals games together.  We’re 0-6.  In non-Brian games, I’m probably 15-6.  You do the math.

We’re cursed.

We went to a huge game last night against the Braves.  Unsurprisngly, the Nationals lost in spectacular fashion.  This was partly due to the fact that the Nationals are a bad baseball team, but it was mainly our fault.

In short, do not invite us both to your wedding.  Or any important medical procedures.

You’ll probably die.

First playoff baseball game in DC in 70+ years.  Went with Brian.

brian5

We lost.

Won sweet field passes.

brian2

Still lost.

Met Bryce Harper.

photobryce

#lost

Brian’s 25th Birthday!

brian1

Lost again.  (Duh.)

Maybe we’ll have better luck on $1 hot dog night?

photocrew

Nope. Like a weird island full of polar bears and smoke monsters, we LOST.

So instead of blaming our inept coach, underperforming players, or questionable management for the Nationals’ disappointing 2013 season, now you know the real culprit:

Brian.