One Night

I spend most of my work days sitting at a desk.

I spend most of my work days staring at Microsoft Word.

I spend most of my work days resisting the urge to eat all the free cookies in the break room.

But not this Thursday night.

Oh no, not this Thursday night.

This Thursday night. I will rap. I will dance. I will wear a crazy costume.

For work.

One Night - 4

This Thursday night, June 26, 2014, is the 11th annual “Banding Together” battle of the law firm bands throwdown in DC. Other than free burrito day at Chipotle during Teacher Appreciation Week, it is probably my favorite night of the year.

Here’s why:

1. This event raises more than $275,000 for Gifts for the Homeless, an amazing charity that provides clothes for the DC homeless community. This proves that lawyers are capable of doing good stuff.

2. I get to perform on the same stage where the Foo Fighters, Arcade Fire, the Killers, Kings of Leon, Radiohead, and the Roots have all jammed. I apologize for hurting those bands’ street cred.

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3. I get to perform with some amazing, talented, and funny people:

Sutherland Comfort. We’re often mistaken for the Wu-Tang Clan.

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4. 1,000+ people go to this thing. Although a lawyer battle of the bands might sound kind of lame, it’s not. It’s pretty [[ insert whatever is the most current word for hype/cool/ill/dope/ ]].

5. I’ve made the Washington Post twice for this event. Unfortunately, both times I was shown wearing the (fake) red Kangol hat pictured above.

6. A bunch of my awesome friends go. You should too. Please?

One Night

7. I’ve been practicing the Running Man. For work.

8. Sarah Jessica Parker would be jealous of my on-stage wardrobe changes.

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9. Our firm really supports this thing. We raised $45,000 for our band last year. People at our office buy Sutherland Comfort t-shirts. They also scream really loudly to help cover up my slightly-worse-than-average rapping.

10. I’ll be singing one of the most important songs in the history of the world.

In short, I’m a little bit excited about Thursday night (but also fearful that I pass out or fall off the stage and end up on Tosh.0). If you are in DC that night and want to help support the homeless community, come on out and watch some lawyers get turnt (or turned?) up! The event starts at 7:00pm and is going down at the Black Cat. Sutherland Comfort will start rocking the stage around 9:15pm. Tickets are $10. If you can’t attend, but would still like to contribute to this awesome cause, you can do so here. Finally, if you feel compelled to babysit two adorable twins that night so Amanda can attend, that would be the illest.

Awkward White Guy Rap (Vol. XIII) – Jay-Z

Interesting things happen when a lawyer and a historian hang together on a Saturday night.

Awkward White Guy Rap (Vol. XIII) - Jay-Z and Frank Sinatra

Meet Doug.

He’s a rad dude.  Doug used to be that cool guy you’d see in NYC singing in musicals and dancing and stuff.  Now, he’s a cool guy who lives in DC, shares his wealth of theatrical knowledge and experience with kids, and studies and digitizes the history of the Civil War during the day.  Oh, and he’s married to one of my BFFs.

Most importantly, we made a “rap” video together!  Enjoy!

The Groove

Other than the horrifying beatdown*** the Patriots are enduring as I write this on Sunday night, it was a great weekend.

I got to hang out with awesome friends from Capital City Church as we showed a little love to some rad kids who are living in one of DC’s homeless shelters.  There was lots of football, plenty of great food, and endless laughs.

Plus, an epic battle for little league football coaching supremacy.

Me and my boy Eric have known each other since the days when Ricky Martin was “Living la Vida Loca” and the Backstreet Boys were “Want[ing] it That Way.”  We put our 13-year friendship to the test on Saturday as our teams squared off on the gridiron.

Eric and Andrew

We tried to look hard, but you know, we’re from Virginia Beach.

Thug Life

I told my team there were three rules: (1) don’t get into a fight; (2) have fun; and (3) bust out some sick dance moves when you score a touchdown.  They did all three of those things.  One kid did a somersault after an incredible 30-yard touchdown run.  Good job, bro.

My “blue” team eventually toppled their “maroon” counterparts with a dramatic game-winning rushing touchdown as time expired.  I decided to sit out the next game to ensure that I went out on top and because I was way too hyped about a bunch of eight-year-olds playing flag football and I was worried about having a stroke.

The Groove

Our pre-game jumping jacks helped us develop the stamina we needed during our game-winning touchdown drive.

Jumping Jacks

More important than any win or loss, it was such a beautiful experience hanging with these kids. I just tried to be a positive, authentic, and goofy guy when interacting with these little dudes and dudettes.  It was one of those awesome, and rare, moments when I felt like I was doing exactly what I’m on Earth to do.  By the end of the day, the kids were repeatedly screaming my name to show off their juke moves and passing skills.  In addition to coaching them to gridiron glory, I chased them around.  A lot. Today, I can barely move.  However, the aches and pains were definitely worth it.  Especially because some of the kids thought I was the real Tom Brady.

Thanks, dudes.

We also picked up some cool baby gear this weekend.  Cribs, a dresser, chairs, and all that jazz. More importantly, some new threads:

Onesie Tie

“Amanda” insisted that we buy these little onesies…

Cute Onsies

In addition to those football and fashion throwdowns, we also had a food extavaganza on Friday night with some dear friends.  We had a lot of gift cards and treated some friends to a “nice” dinner.  Amanda is obsessed with Olive Garden and wanted to indulge in the culinary offerings of that “authentic” Italian restaurant.  As you can probably tell, I’m not a big fan of the OG, but she was happy and we had so much fun hanging out for hours and laughing way too much (mostly at Amanda and her passion for Olive Garden).

Olive Garden

Saturday night was also a blast. We got to hang out with 20+ friends from college while eating way too much fried turkey and pumpkin pie.  It is such a rewarding experience being able to keep in touch with people we’ve been friends with for the past 12 years.  Life has changed a lot since 2001, but I’m so thankful that we’re still on this journey together.

Last, and certainly least, I also tried a Pumpkin Spice Latte for the first time on Friday.  It tasted like someone squirted fake pumpkin-flavored chemicals out of a bottle and into a cup of coffee.  Oh, right, that’s exactly what happened.  Eww.

PSL

***Okay, the Patriots scored 28 straight points after I turned off the TV to write this post….and…we just won.  Holler.

Da Beard

Fashion accessories are fun.  I really love shoes, ties, and pocket squares.  They can add some extra life to an outfit and allow you to bring a little craziness to the business world.  Well, I’m now rocking a new fashion accessory every single day…and night.

Da beard.

Da Beard

It wasn’t planned.  Rather, it was born out of laziness.  I usually pull the plug on beard growth after a week.  It doesn’t really mesh with teal pants and a neon shirt.  Plus, my beard turns red, and no offense to my red-headed friends, but that weirds me out a little.

But I’m not shaving this beard.  I’m not sure if it can be scientifically proven, but I’m pretty sure it is a Gandalf magic beard.  Two weeks ago, my beloved Nationals were dead.  The season was essentially over.  But then I stopped shaving.  Since that fateful evening, the Nationals are 10-1.  Our chances of making the playoffs are still incredibly small, but I’ve got faith!  More importantly, I’ve got a beard.  A magic beard.

picstitch

I love DC. A lot.

I was going to write a silly Gaga-esque post today, but it didn’t feel right in the wake of yesterday’s horrific shootings in D.C.  I also tried to write about the tragedy, but I didn’t have the words to say.  Thus, I’ll let some pictures do the talking.  Although D.C. is often the brunt of jokes and political rants, I love this city.  Here’s why:

The loves of my life met in D.C.

I love DC. A lot.

The other love of my life is in DC.

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Oh, and the other one too.

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(Hill Country BBQ. If you haven’t been yet, go. NOW.)

NYC has a million pizza joints.  DC has froyo everywhere.  We win. 

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(Our rent is cheaper too.  And there are fewer Yankees fans here.)

Lauriol Plaza.    

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If it wasn’t for the two-hour wait, I’d probably go to Lauriol Plaza every night (except for Monday nights because that’s all-you-can-eat night at Hill Country).

It is becoming clear that I eat too much.

The Washington Monument

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Mayor Gray and I are tight.

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(For the record, I have no connection to any of the corruption allegations brought against him. We just like to chill on the weekend and watch some WNBA.)

Seersucker is kinda embraced here.  Yay.

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Red pants too.

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WE’RE THE N.L. EAST CHAMPIONS!!!

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(for one more week)

Our July 4ths are pretty epic.

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(even with a caged Washington Monument)

Our Christmas tree is too.

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D.C. has some sweet bike trails.

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…and a sweet boy band.

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We’ve got the N.L. Rookie of the Year. 

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…and a really athletic caveman.

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Capital City Church is in D.C.  And in another month, VIRGINIA too.

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Dat Ben’s chili.

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We’ve got a sick backdrop for pickup games of touch football.
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The baddest building in the world is in D.C.

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We’ve got bike lanes so cars won’t run us over.

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The cab drivers don’t care.  The texting pedestrians are worse.

We have a lot of pretty buildings.

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(See, not all your tax dollars are wasted.)

We have Natitude.

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(But maybe a little less than last season.)

We’re an international city.

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But we all love America (and Turkey).

Most importantly, D.C. is full of amazing people. 

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My thoughts and prayers are with all those affected by yesterday’s tragedy.  I hope you find some peace in this time of tumult and that you can cling to moments of joy.  A hateful lunatic can create incredible havoc and pain, but he cannot break us.

Even Divas Love Church

Despite my love for shoes and my passion for fashion, I’m actually not the biggest diva in our house.

Meet Napoleon.

Even Divas Love Church

He’s a seven-pound beast.  However, like Cubs fans in October, he is never satisfied.  No amount of treats is ever sufficient and laying on the floor without pillows is inconceivable.  He’s a diva.  In fact, he hates everything that doesn’t involve him eating, sleeping, or humping.

Almost.

This little diva dude loves church.  Specifically, Capital City Church in Washington, D.C.

There’s hope for everyone.  Even rappers.