It Takes Two

Two months ago, my life changed a lot.

I ate an epic club sandwich. It was perfect.

I also met our newborn son and daughter that day.

First Day

Two months and approximately 1,200 diapers later, life looks a lot different now:

My wife and I haven’t left the house together, without children, for 60+ days.

That probably won’t happen in the near future. We’re still firmly in the paranoid parent stage.

I desperately want to go see the new “Captain America,” “300,” and “Transformers” movies. I will watch them on Netflix in six months.

We have started using online grocery shopping. Thank you, internet.

We had dinner with some friends on Friday night. I was able to engage in focused conversation 25% of the time. The rest of the night was spent bouncing, swaying, and trying to hold a pacifier in a kid’s mouth while having a conversation.

On that note, I have a love-hate relationship with pacifiers. Just like a midnight run to Taco Bell, things are great at first, but you may eventually regret that decision. That pacifier will fall out at some point and there is a good chance that baby will scream.

I’ve got nothing but love for baby swings. God bless the man or woman who invented those.

My wife is a legend.

I want to give out millions of high fives on those occasions when I successfully transition a sleeping baby from my arms to the crib. However, I give out zero high fives on those occasions due to the risk of waking the baby.

However, those times when you lay a baby down and you start to hear some grunts, whimpers, cries, or movement, those are the moments that strengthen your prayer life.

I’ve been to thirty countries and three Britney Spears’ concerts, but there is nothing greater than hanging at home with the family.

The dirty laundry never ends. The piles of clean clothes on the floor never go away.

I’m disappointed when a diaper has pee, but no poop. The poop will likely happen within five minutes of putting on the new diaper.

I enjoy baby clothes a lot.

Matching

Going to work in the morning, especially on Mondays, is so rough. I do everything to stall for time. I’ve done laundry and paid bills at 8:00am on some recent workdays.

We hit a dark spot a few weeks ago where we felt like we were going crazy. Thankfully, that has passed. However, we sometimes feel like prisoners to two hungry babies. At least our captors are really cute.

The idea of taking our kids to day care in a few months is terrifying and sad. Not just because it will cost an insane amount of money, but because we’re paranoid parents who will miss them desperately. I’m sure it will become easier as they get older, bigger, and stronger, but right now that thought is depressing.

I think way too much about germs these days.

I have listened to Katy Perry’s “Roar” 100+ times. This week.

These kids are growing up too fast. We see them as big kids already. I’m sure that’s funny to the rest of the world who sees them as tiny babies.

There are a million different baby books, videos, and websites out there that will tell you a million different ways to raise your baby. Those suggestions are infinitely helpful, but there is no right way to do anything. Just do what you have to do and don’t judge others who do things differently.

I’ve realized I use my phone way too much. I think a lot of us do. That should stop. We all deserve better.

Our kids may not like us when they are teenagers.

One Month

 

Two Months

Taking a shower at home is now a luxury. Naps too.

Seeing these kids smile, even if gas induced, is the best thing ever.

Other than naps.

The Unexpected

One of my favorite songs is U2’s “I Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For.”  Other than Soulja Boy’s “Crank That,” I can’t think of a song with such meaningful lyrics.  I also like that classic U2 song because it applies to some of the interesting and amazing people who read this blog.

About 50 people a day find this blog through Google searches.  If you are one of those people, welcome.  I swear I’m not this weird in real life.  I hope.

The Unexpected

(nevermind)

Not only is WordPress kind enough to provide a lot of neat statistical information, it also lists the actual search terms people use to find this blog.  A lot of them are pretty normal:

-iceiceandrew
-iceice blog
-iceiceandrew blog

Some are a bit more unique, but make sense in light of my previous posts:

thankful for my job
is chipotle the best burrito
-chubbies shorts
-tom brady gq
-make life less boring
mermaid rap
faith isn’t easy
classic white boy rap songs
dude too old for justin timberlake
glee costumes
rules for flag football

But, whoa, some of them are crazy:

-[[ insert lots of porn searches here ]]
-is play that funky music white boy a love song (obviously)
-losing a best friend due to the thug life
-sometimes my husband sucks (my wife says the same thing)
-how boring is it when two people wear the same shoes (That is the worst!)
-awful dude selfies
has stone cold steve austin ever felt lonely (probably)
-was jackie robinson a thug (no)
-grease: where are they now
-what are some good lady gaga gifts (I want to be your friend.)
-sweaty shirt
-woman crush wednesday is my mom (Hello, Oedipus.)
-should i sing endless love to her when she walks down the aisle (Please invite me to your wedding.)

…and the scariest one my favorite…

“random old man told me god sent him to tell me i don’t need a miracle tonight but i’ll need one tomorrow at 4”

I’m not exactly sure what to say in response to that last one, but here are three random thoughts I do have:

(1)  Everyone is crazy.  Don’t waste time hiding your weirdness.  Own it.

(2)  We often spend so much time and energy searching for something to fulfill us, something we think we need, or something to make us happy.  You usually find those things when you’re not looking.

(3)  You never know what kind of impact you’ll have on the lives of other people.  The “small” actions of others have repeatedly served as incredible catalysts for change in my life.  My now-BFF Lamar did an epic “Men in Black” song and dance routine at Tallwood High School’s freshman orientation in 1997 that got me interested in student government.  I was SCA President a few years later.  Another friend, Joy, shared a link on Facebook in 2009 that introduced me to Capital City Church.  We helped plant a new church site last month.  Amanda made her first sweet potato casserole for Thanksgiving in 2007.  I ate the whole dish, felt like I was going to die when I walked upstairs, and finally decided it was time to get in shape.  I lost 70 pounds.

Hopefully this blog has helped someone, whether it was a friend who saw a link I posted on Facebook or a dude looking for porn who found a post about community service instead.

Your words and actions will impact others in great and profound ways.  Even if you don’t know it.  They might be friends, they might be family, or they might be strangers who also like Lady Gaga.  However, if some dude tells you that you’ll need a miracle at 4pm tomorrow, just run away.

Awkward White Guy Rap (Vol. VII) – Disney

Although we may disagree about our favorite sports teams, political idealogies, and religous beliefs, we all love Disney movies.  I don’t know about you, but a 1980’s Disney animation classic and a rap jam seem like a perfect fit.

Awkward White Guy Rap (Vol. VII) - Disney

This is a little different than the other “Awkward White Guy Raps,” but I like it (and it only took 10 minutes to film and edit).  Have a great day!