Goodbye

Saying “goodbye” is one of the hardest things to do in life.

That is why I like to say “goodbye” with awkward dance moves and a little bit of sweat.

Enjoy!

Thanks to David and Jen for hanging out, having some fun, and not laughing at my “dance” moves (too much). It’s pretty funny that we filmed a video for “Bye Bye Bye” and “Gangsta’s Paradise” on the same day. Diversity is the spice of life. Yo.

Goodbye

On a related note, which is the best boy band of all time? Here is your answer.

Wonders

I’ve written a lot about parenting and family issues lately. It’s time to take a break from the personal stuff and get back to issues of global importance.

First up:

What is the greatest one-hit wonder of all time?

Great question. Thanks for asking. Here’s the answer:

Honorable Mention:

Vicki Sue Robinson – “Turn the Beat Around” – This song makes me wants to jump out of my seat and dance all night in the club.  Unfortunately, I’m a bad dancer and I’m too old and too married to dance all night in a club.

The Heights – “How Do You Talk to an Angel?”  AOL Instant Messenger?

Sinead O’Connor – “Nothing Compares 2 U” – This sorrowful ballad should be in the Top Ten, but a deep, intense, and powerful song like this one deserves to have the words in the title spelled out.  Is that 2 much 2 ask?

Okay.  Now on to the Top Ten.

10.  Marky Mark – “Good Vibrations” – As an awkward white kid growing up in the 1980s and 1990s, two guys gave me hope that anything was possible: Larry Bird, a seemingly non-athletic white guy, was one of the best three basketball players on the planet, and Marky Mark, a seemingly untalented white rapper, made one of the best rap songs ever.

“Vibrations good like Sunkist.”

Marky Mark GIF

9.  Modern English – “Melt With You” – This song is so good that Amanda and I planned to do a ridiculous choreographed dance to it as the first dance at our wedding back in pre-YouTube 2005.  However, we were 22-year-olds planning our own wedding and we ran out of time.  Plus, some of the lyrics would have been an awkward way to kick off a wedding reception.

amanda

8.  The Calling – “Wherever You Will Go” –  During my first year of college, I did three things: (1) eat waffles; (2) play Halo; and (3) listen to this song.

7.  Tag Team – “Whoomp! (There It is.)” This is an oft-forgotten song that, well, should never be forgotten. I remember a bunch of us singing this jam in gym class in elementary school. No one knew the words so it would be thirty seconds of awkward mumbles followed by a bunch of prepubescent kids yelling “Whoomp! There it is!” My only problem with this song is that the video is depressing: 1993 was a long time ago.

6.  Des’ree – “You Gotta Be” – I recorded this song on a cassette player while listening to Deliah one night back in the mid-1990s. I later listened to that tape all week during a basketball camp in 1996. It was my hype song. My roommate laughed. Then he stole all of my basketball jerseys. I still miss my Penny Hardaway jersey.

5.  O-Town – “All or Nothing” – A few months ago, I made a list of the best boy bands. O-Town was on that list. 98 Degrees was not. Hundreds of thousands of Nick Lachey fans sent me nasty emails. No offense to Nick and his frosted tips, but this song is the reason why O-Town was ranked higher. It’s a masterpiece.

o-town-liquid-dreams

4.  Gary Glitter – “Rock and Roll Part II”This song has no words other than “heeeeeeeeey,” but I could still listen to it all day long. Even at 31 years old, I still go nuts when I’m at a UVA game and this (jock) jam is played. Confession: I sometimes play it when the kids are doing tummy time.

2002 (Surprisingly, UVA actually won this football game):

2002

3.  Macy Gray – “I Try” – While some of the songs on this list are cheesy, this one is a moving and powerful work of art. I love it. I also love the fact that Macy Gray and her unorthodox voice and style became a star. 15 years after this song was released, I still sing it all the time (usually when I buy a pack of Double Stuf Oreos after swearing to give them up).

2.  Vanilla Ice – “Ice Ice Baby” – In Exodus, God, in burning bush form, tells Moses to take off his sandals because he was standing on holy ground. We do the same in our house when this song is played.

Vanilla Ice

1.  Francis Scott Key – “The Star-Spangled Banner” – This song is awkward, I don’t know what “spangled” or “ramparts” mean, but America is cool and this is our jam.

America

Bye.

Awkward White Guy Rap (Vol. XII) – Wrecking Ball

It was a typical Saturday here in DC yesterday. We went to a slamming church breakfast, I did a little work, and then we tore up some sick BBQ at Hill Country with a few special friends.

Oh, and I made a video between consuming all those calories. A Miley Cyrus rap video.

Awkward White Guy Rap (Vol. XII) - Wrecking Ball

Our two singers got sick over the weekend and couldn’t make it. However, our dynamic trio still had a great time rocking out to the best song of 2013.

PS – You can find more Awkward White Guy Rap videos here, including another famous Miley jam.

PPS – Thanks to Capital City Church for letting us use the church office to film these silly videos.

PPPS – Thanks to Paul A. for letting us use his snazzy camera to film these silly videos.

PPPPS – Thanks to the amazing band, The Unlikely Hero, for letting us use their guitarist (David) to film these silly videos. You should check them out. For reals.

PPPPPS – Bye.

Awkward White Guy Rap (Vol. VIII) – Beastie Boys

There are a lot of reasons I’m really thankful for my job.  I get a regular paycheck that can buy important stuff like Legos and Jordans (and baby stuff too, I guess).  Even better, our office has free animal crackers and monthly fajita buffets.  Most importantly, once a year, rapping is part of my job description.  Other than every day that I’m not at work, it’s my favorite day of the year.

Awkward White Guy Rap (Vol. VIII) - Beastie Boys

Walk This Way

Thrift Shop

Well, in 2013, it happened twice.

At the 2013 “Battle of the Law Firm Bands” event at the Black Cat in D.C., Sutherland Comfort brought down the house with an eclectic set of Alanis, Christina, Bruno Mars, Eminem, Gun ‘n Roses, and Maclemore songs.  We also raised $40,000 for the D.C. homeless community.  Even better, the entire event raised $250,000!  Holler!  Despite the excess amount of sweat I put off during our performance, someone from the D.C. Bar liked everyone else in the band so much that they asked us to perform at a fancy lawyer prom-esque event.

Like me at the aforementioned fajita buffet, we enthusiastically said “YES!  YES!  YES!”  It was a little different from what we’re used to, namely, there were fewer drunk people, less insanity, and more tuxedos.  However, we still gave it our best shot and the band crushed an eight-song set this past Saturday night.  Here’s our lawyerly rendition of “Sabotage” by the Beastie Boys.  Enjoy!

You can find all my other “Awkward White Guy Rap” videos here.  YouTube is full of other Sutherland Comfort videos that are much better, especially ones that don’t involve me.

Awkward White Guy Rap (Vol. VII) – Disney

Although we may disagree about our favorite sports teams, political idealogies, and religous beliefs, we all love Disney movies.  I don’t know about you, but a 1980’s Disney animation classic and a rap jam seem like a perfect fit.

Awkward White Guy Rap (Vol. VII) - Disney

This is a little different than the other “Awkward White Guy Raps,” but I like it (and it only took 10 minutes to film and edit).  Have a great day!

Awkward White Guy Rap (Vol. V) – Miley Cyrus

If you think I’m loud, obnoxious, and annoying, it’s not my fault.  Blame Lamar.

Awkward White Guy Rap (Vol. 5) - Miley Cyrus

Before I met Lamar at Tallwood High School in 1998 (How was that 15 years ago?!?), I was a quiet dude who just wanted to watch “Beverly Hills 90210” all day (just like all the other fifteen year old guys).  For better or for worse, Lamar encouraged me to get involved at school, to always be a little weird, and to come out of my shell.

Awkward White Guy Raps (Vol. 5) - Miley Cyrus

Thanks, Lamar.

We were out of touch for nearly a decade, but Backstreet’s back and we just made a “rap” video.  There was no planning and no practice, so please don’t hate.

And stop hatin’ on Miley!

Here are all the earlier white boy jams:

Biggie

Dr. Dre and Snoop

Eminem

Taylor Swift